How is this a family?

I think we’ve all been there. You’re at a meeting for work where your manager is introducing the new employee. She starts to talk about the company, and the basics of the office, when she shoots her hands out pointing at all the employees and says, “We’re just all one big family! Welcome to the family!” You and your other coworkers can’t hold back the laughter, because well, you know that’s just silly. You may like your coworkers and maybe have even developed great friendships with them. However, you know that your company isn’t a family. They may want the authenticity, love, and care of a family, but the dynamics (no matter how hard they push it), just can’t get it there.

Family love takes intentionality, closeness, and intimacy in a small group of people.

Let’s look at it this way. What do you call four kids and two adults? A family. Now, what do you call fifty kids and two adults. That’s an orphanage. Being involved in orphan care and adopting three kids in the Texas foster system, I know orphanages and family homes play different roles in providing for these children. Orphanages do a great job in providing the basic needs of food and shelter for foster children. However, they do not and cannot provide something, no matter how hard they try – family love. That can only come from loving parents in a home rather than a large building with paid staff. This is why state workers look at orphanages as a temporary solution, and family homes as a permanent solution for these children.

Do you see the point I’m trying to make? When people go to a large church gathering, they may feel a strong sense of community and friendship, but it can never cultivate a family type of love unless it’s in a smaller setting like a small group. In our house church, we don’t just say that we’re a family, but we operate as a family.

Last week, we got the news that Denise, a friend in our house church, passed away. We’re so glad that we were able to minister to her and help guide her in discipleship to Jesus. When she first moved here, it was very hard for her to connect with people at traditional churches. But she told us that she felt a family type of love in our house church gatherings. This love was displayed when we built a ramp for her at her house when she was in a wheelchair, or when she came over for dinner and a movie, or how she was welcomed in the discussion in our gatherings, or how she brought presents for my kids and held my baby, or shared lunch together every week. She felt the family love, because we didn’t just say it, we acted like a family.

Just to be clear, I’m not saying that traditional churches can’t have a family culture. I believe they can. But in my experience in talking to these few large churches that have a family culture reputation, it takes many years in shifting that culture. Whereas a house church just emanates that family culture because of the small number of people, meeting in homes, sitting on couches, in discussion-based discipleship. It’s not hard to create that culture. 

That’s the point of this video. Many Christians desire to have authenticity, intentionality, and family-oriented culture in their church, so joining a house church is a great option to develop that right away. Of course, no church is perfect, even house churches. But if you open up yourself to experience a Jesus-community and seek these relationships, the Holy Spirit will lead you to connect with a local church community. 

If you want to look for a house church in your area (I know it’s hard to find those because they don’t have buildings), then go to FindAHouseChurch.com to search for one in your area.